Twenty twenty-one. Fourth of July. Freedom rang out in a very different way today.
We all had our periods of confinement and many suffered grave losses in twenty twenty. I mostly went inside a bubble, and allowed myself to be resigned and accepting of the isolation. As there was nothing to be done about it, my mind kindly blotted out many of the wishes and worries that I had been carrying along with me for a number of years. I was numbed out without alcohol or medications to cloud my mind physically, just a diffuse mental curtain that reduced the incoming.
I was not happy, but I was not terribly unhappy. I was just floating and thinking, trying to evaluate and regroup for what I wanted for the rest of my life. In my mid-sixties, the finality and finiteness of my future had been weighing me down. The gift of my isolation and contemplation was the will and the determination to prepare myself for more.
More vibrancy, more vision in my art, more story in my photography, more skills in seeing the light around me, more of an ability to abstract the obvious that was in front of me, more drive, more friendship, more embrace of my family, more acceptance of the love and the bounty that is my life.
More gratitude to God who has been so good to me and gratitude for the friends and kinsmen who have lifted my heart.
Twenty twenty was that great meditation, that massive contemplation that gave me a new way of living my life bravely and with freedom in twenty twenty-one.